The Cauliflower Catastrophe

Okay, I have to share this--one, because it was a lesson in preparation and two, because even though it was terrible, it was funny.  My lunch yesterday was just plain unpleasant.  Part of it was fine, it was the bad planning that made it bad.  I had cottage cheese with shredded cheddar, diced tomatoes, and black pepper and it was amazing.  I had some wheat crackers.  They were great.  But I had to get my veggies in and by the time I made that meal on food prep day, I did not even care anymore.  I just threw two giant servings of cauliflower (the green containers!) into a baggie.  So I had to just sit there and mindlessly shove giant pieces of frackin crunchy, raw cauliflower in my mouth for like twenty minutes.  haha. I'm sorry, I do like veggies, but two huge servings of raw cauliflower with no condiments and no seasoning is not my cup of tea.  That was truly awful.  Frackin cauliflower.  By the way, does anyone else think it's annoying when people say collie-flower instead of call-i-flower?  I do.

Dramatization of recent events.

Moving on.  Honestly, yesterday was just a mess.  I really felt completely discouraged not only in my workouts but just in life.  It's so easy to focus on setbacks instead of successes and just get really pessimistic.  I went from being so excited and optimistic to really just thinking "I am going to fail at this.  I'm not going to lose weight, I'm not going to be able to make this a business, and I'm going to be poor and chubby and tired and unhealthy forever."  Yeah, it was not good.  Thankfully, I had my godly Mama to tell me that I was letting the enemy get me turned around.  Then it was like a lightbulb: if the opposition is this strong, something amazing is about to happen.  I don't know what it will look like.  Maybe it will be a financial revolution in my life, maybe spiritual, maybe just physical.  I have a feeling it will be all three.  And now, more than ever, I am determined to fight for it.

That said, yesterday was truly brutal!  I started doing the Lower Fix and had to pause it to stretch.  My body hurt so badly it wasn't even funny!  Rough stuff.  That session had me saying EFF you, Autumn Calabrese.  If you don't hate the workout leader even a little, you're probably not being challenged. haha.  BUT I finished it and I gulped down some "Results and Recovery" formula (which tastes like a creamsicle!) and I am not at all sore today.  Happy times.  Today was Pilates Fix, which they call an "active recovery day" workout.  Challenging, but with plenty of stretching.  There's a series where you're laying on your side and doing all of these movements with your leg and the side of your thigh and butt is just burning and you're like 'OH THE INHUMANITY!' but then you're like, 'I guess I have literally never worked those muscles before' and you feel happy.

Last thing I will say, especially for anyone doing the "fat blaster" version of the 21 Day Fix eating plan: you can't eat your yellow or purple containers after 6pm (grains/fruits), and that had me craving sweets in the evening in a painful way.  It was a bit demoralizing.  However, I wasn't using my teaspoon portions (I get 5 a day on my calorie level).  It can be used for oils in preparation, but most of my meats were cooked in water.  It can also be used for nut or seed butters.  So I used a few teaspoons of peanut butter and had a cup of hot tea with stevia and felt 100% better.  *Nutrition tip: artificial sweeteners make you crave sweets and carbs.  Liquid sugars (like in a White Mocha, which is basically sugar lard) aren't recognized by your brain as quickly and can cause more weight gain than a solid sugar--like cake. Stevia that is made without additives, according to my mom's oncologist, is the only no calorie sweetener that is actually helpful instead of harmful.  Just make sure it doesn't have things like 'erythritol' or 'dextrose' as those are processed artificial sweeteners/sugars.

That about sums it up for today.  Today's takeaway: don't pack several unprepared portions of a veggie you only kind of like, don't let negativity ruin your life, and don't be afraid to post an unflattering picture if you think it might make somebody laugh.  Just keep swimming, folks!

On My Way

Before I get started, just an FYI for everyone who intends to follow me, the plan is to have a video on Sunday and then a blog every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday!  So keep an eye out.

Today is Day 2, the Upper Fix workout.  I'm feeling good--sore, but good.  As you know, yesterday was my first day with the eating plan and I have to say, I dig it.  Any time I started to get hungry, it was time to eat again!  I have to say the first half of the day was my favorite; Shakeology, fruit, steel-cut oats with cinnamon, and boiled eggs (meals one and two).  I have to say, the healthy food and the shakes had me feeling crazy energized all day (and a lot less grumpy than I usually am on Mondays).  Something else that has definitely helped was getting plenty of water.  *I just proofread this and realized I use the phrase "I have to say" a lot...I'm leaving it for authenticity. haha.*

One surefire way to do that is to have a specific cup, mug, or bottle that you use all day.  It's easy to overestimate how much water you're drinking when you're not really keeping track.  If you've got a bunch of different-sized cups, you might be well below your daily requirement, which can cause bloating, headaches, fatigue, and even may confuse your body into thinking you're hungry when you're not.  My Shakeology bottle is 700 ml.  If I drink at least three bottles full per day, I know I'm getting my minimum requirements.  It seriously makes a difference not only in the way you feel but in the amount of weight you will be able to lose.

Gotta love the swag.

The workouts are definitely effective.  Admittedly, I hate cardio right now.  When I was at a lighter weight, I loved it--now, I want to punch everyone in the face when I'm doing it.  haha.  However, as I did Day 1's Full Body Cardio, I felt like it was totally doable.  Anything I had to modify (because I've still got a lingering cough from being sick), I just did a few reps after the DVD was over.  It didn't feel too difficult during, but two hours later (and definitely this morning), my whole body was sore!  It's amazing how much the moves were doing without me even realizing it.  It just flew by, too.  Anyone can commit 30 minutes.

The Upper Fix definitely had me rethinking my overestimation of my own strength.  haha.  Unfortunately, I have not had the time to grab a heavier set of dumbbells for some of the exercises, so I did it all with the 5 pound weights--but it definitely worked everything.  It wasn't just arms, shoulders, and chest.  She also has you work your upper abs and DANG.  My abs are currently pathetic and I cannot wait to see that change!  The moves are all set in a minute of reps.  "You can do anything for a minute!" Even planking...with some falling and crying a little.  haha.

The only thing I really struggled with yesterday was when Tom decided to make mac and cheese.  I wasn't hungry and I had plenty of yummy foods throughout the day, but I wanted it so bad.  A little self-denial is good for you.  Builds character.

The last thing I want to say is a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been so encouraging.  I've barely started and I've already had so many people wanting more information, telling me I've inspired them, or asking my advice--and my blog viewership increased by about 200 views in a day!  It may not be a ton to some fitness gurus, but as an avid blogger, I have never seen such a spike before this.  I am seriously blown away.  You guys are motivating the heck out of me.  If my self-love falters, I know I'll have the notion of letting you down to keep me from stopping.  My younger sister, Emily, will soon be joining me in this endeavor and I can't wait to show the change it makes for both of us.  Get it!*

*This perkiness brought to you by the coffee I slipped into my shake this morning. ;)

The Eve of Greatness

I want to start this entry off with what I think is an important thing to be open about: my fears.  I am feeling all kinds of positivity and excitement right now, but I will say that I wasn't really feeling like that this past week.  It may have been partially because I was coughing up my lungs...but mostly, I was (and still kind of am) scared!  I'm setting myself up in front of everyone to either succeed and be an inspiration or fail and be a disappointment.  My family, my fella, and I have awesome expectations--but what if I can't?  What if I fall off the wagon?  What if my body has some kind of weird voodoo now that makes it invulnerable to exercise?  What if people laugh at me?  Or worse, what if I do succeed and no one sees and my dream of helping others push themselves crumbles?  All of that would be terrible, but what would be worse is not even giving it a shot.  I don't want to be Little Miss Perfect, thin and perky and always sounding like a freaking Hallmark card.  That just isn't me.  But I do want to inspire you.  I want to make you feel like "If she can do it, so can I."  And that's why I'm capturing this whole thing from the beginning instead of waiting until I can post a before picture without feeling ga-ross (which, by the way, I have been dreading).  So before I launch into the rest of this blog, here are those cringeworthy before photos that I have to leave hanging here until I get off my butt and start making changes:

Just for reference, this is what I used to look like in this bikini four years and about fifty pounds ago:

In any case, I am now on the eve of beginning my first round of the 21 Day Fix program.  I spent a few hours this afternoon putting together all thirty meals for the next six days (yes, you eat five meals a day!)  I was actually extremely anxious about the whole thing because I've never done something like this before.  I was very disorganized, so it took me a few hours.  I started to stress myself out worrying about what Tom is going to eat (he isn't doing it), but ended up having several things to set aside for him to eat this week.  Then I started worrying about doing this every week for the next few weeks and I realized that it will probably actually save me quite a bit of time.  No running out to buy food, no piddling around the kitchen figuring out what to eat, no ransacking the cabinets, and no getting hungry at work.  My cooking for the week is donesies and that feels awesome.

VICTORY!

Now, just a quick little update before I finish: As you may well know, I have not blogged in about a week now.  I have been sick and unable to work out at all!  However, I did get my Shakeology and I have been having a shake for breakfast every day.  I'm going to be embarrassingly honest.  With the 21 Day Fix eating plan looming and while feeling junky, I was eating everything under the sun: potato chips, hamburgers, quesadillas, ice cream, and candy in great abundance--I was certain I was going to gain some weight.  It's kind of insane, though, I lost two pounds this week and one of those was after only two days of shakes.  I messaged my upline coach and was basically freaking out because I had no idea how quickly Shakeology could have an impact.  She had the same experience (albeit probably without the bingeing).  Needless to say, I'm happy with it.  Definitely excited to keep it going.  I'm good now, but I'm going to be GREAT soon: happier, healthier, stronger, more disciplined, and more energized.

Dancing Days and Smelling Colors

Hello friends, I'm just going to jump right in with a graceless introduction.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am feeling under the weather (still!).  Yesterday I was also feeling pretty down.  Those of you who know me know that my Mama was diagnosed with breast cancer a while ago.

Love my Mama!

The prognosis is good and we are all feeling pretty positive, but she had surgery this past Wednesday--removing lymph nodes and a double mastectomy.  It's just kind of scary.  I went over to see her yesterday and she was having trouble keeping her eyes open because of the medication.  We all hate seeing her this way.  Of course, she has my amazing Daddy and big sister taking care of her--so that helps.  Still, I kept getting that awful pang you get when you try not to cry.  I came home to clean and cook like I do most Saturdays (there's a housewife inside me just dying to get out) and just kept feeling beyond blah.  I had begun the day planning to get a workout in, but I just felt so deflated.  So I decided to do what any sassy lady knows is the best way to cheer up: I danced.

I turned this song on repeat for 30 minutes and I just danced my heart out.  If you haven't heard it, give it a listen.  I dare you to resist breaking out some sweet moves.  And you know what?  I felt a million times better.  No, I didn't do a traditional workout--but I got moving and I got happy.  I felt 100% better.  The moral of that story is that it's okay not to stick to a crazy-strict plan.  The plan is important because you've got organization.  You've got the right combination of moves for speeding up results, keeping you on track, and preventing injury.  Still, some days you just have to let go a little.  You have to take care of your heart, too.  And sometimes your heart will just want a dance party, a hike, or a hardcore rollerblading sesh complete with knee pads and spandex shorts (hey, I'm not judging).  If you feel bogged down, get outside of the box for a little while.  99% of the time, utilize the routine.  It keeps you accountable.  But give yourself that 1% of wiggle room.

Today, I didn't want to cop out.  Not going to lie, I spent a few hours on the couch cuddling with my cat.  I just didn't have the energy or motivation (besides feeling like a lump of human flesh).  Luckily, my wonderful coaches provided me with some samples on our first meeting: one of which being the Energy&Endurance pre-workout mix.  

Hope you can read backwards.

I had never used a pre-workout supplement before, but man...I was smelling colors.  It's definitely healthier than a normal pre-workout.  It does have caffeine, but it doesn't have taurine or a bunch of sugar.  It's got great things in it like tea and fruit extracts, vitamins, and is sweetened with stevia.  Definitely know I couldn't have gotten through the workout without it.  I am a fan.  Still feeling pretty energized.

Today I did "The 50."  As you'll remember, I haven't gotten my official workouts or even my Shakeology yet due to the popularity of the 21 Day Fix (and the 'neopolitan' shake pack that I chose), but I did get the free dvds.  The 50 is named for its length: 50 minutes of a full body and cardio workout.  I'm not going to lie, I had to pause it a couple of times and bring out a fan.  I was sa-weating.  Even so, I liked this one a lot better than "The 30" because it had more fun moves in it.  Even when I feel gross and coughy, I love doing one particular move: speed skaters.  I love them.  Makes me feel...aerodynamic?  This one is still pretty squat and lunge heavy, which makes me cringe--but I know it works!  I have to say, now that it's over, I am so glad I got off of the couch.  It really makes a difference in both mood and physical feeling.

I know this one was a little long, but I just wanted to really put myself out there.  This is definitely a journey for me.  I hope I'm inspiring other chubby ducklings to get up and move, too!  Trust me, you will be happier for it even before you really start seeing big results.

The Rocky Effect

Recently my fella convinced me to start watching the Rocky movies.  He's a big fan.  Admittedly, I had never seen them.  Forgive me for saying it, but the first one was quite awkward and not exactly eye-catching to me until the fight.  The second was a little better, but the real intensity came when he started working out.  The music and that montage got my blood pumping. It inspired me to really want to get going.  I even got off of the couch and tried to do a one-handed pushup.  I can do about half of one.  haha.

 I'll admit I've been doing piddling, time-killing workouts while I wait for my 21 Day Fix and Shakeology, but why not start now?  If I'm being brutally honest, you know what really made me want to get serious (and soon)?  It wasn't the music or the whole community running behind him or the one-armed pushups.  It was the scene before the fight in the first movie when they call out Rocky's weight.  190 pounds.  He's got like a foot of height on me.  I died a little inside.  Yeah, I weigh more than the Italian Stallion.  That's...upsetting, to say the least.  

Lucky for me, I got an unexpected present today.  When you order Shakeology/sign up with Beach Body, you get these babies for freesies:

Um, yeah.

So this morning, setting aside the sinus infection from Hades (or so I think it is), I slumped out of bed, gave myself a good hearty slap on the belly, and popped in the 30 minute one.  I know how intense Beach Body workouts are from doing P90X workouts back in the day.  I wasn't about to jump into the 50 minute session while sick.  I'm ready to be fit, but hey, I'm not suicidal.  True story.

First impression:  The dvd is a full body workout that also includes cardio moves.  At the beginning, I was thinking This is super easy.  As it progressed, I changed my mind.  The cardio aspect wasn't extremely intense but certain moves were--like the series of different lunges.  And everything that involved moving and me coughing and getting red-faced.  The obligatory cutesy fitness picture below is like 20 minutes later and as you can see, my face still has a bit of a tomatoey tinge.  Oh hey--Valentine's color.  Look at me, I'm festive.

Hey, at least I cropped out most of the cleave and I'm not tanorexic/wearing my hair down like it was effortless.

If you're a beginner, this is definitely a good workout for you.  One person onscreen demonstrates lower impact variations of several of the moves to help if you have joint problems or just aren't at the level to complete all of the exercises yet.  For me, I have some wrist pain and weakness.  I can only do so many pushups before I have to switch to "girl" stance to do them (knees on the floor, lower legs crossed).  It actually gives you a better workout when you can maintain safe form, so I don't feel too guilty about it.

Feeling pretty nasty, but I know the workouts will be better when I've got better nutrition and don't have to put Vicks vapor rub under my nostrils to breathe.  

Before the "Before" Photos

As I said in my last blog, I have not, nor will I ever be "skinny."  I honestly don't want to be, either.  With this noggin, I would look like a bobble-head doll.  Still, there was a time when I was pretty fit.

See?

That girl in the front, for those of you who don't know, is me, looking like a sassy pinup in one of my band's photos.  Yeah, I was in a band, I was fit--basically I seemed a lot cooler than I do now, at least on paper.

Then this.

A few years later, the picture above was me during my sister's wedding weekend, blaming the photography for how gross I felt I looked.  Kinda wanted to die a little.  It definitely wasn't the photography.  It was my own laziness.  It didn't help that I went through a sad phase where I was lonely and worked three jobs to stay a float.  After that, it didn't help that I had graduated to a "grown-up" job where I sat on my bum all day.  Moving forward, it also didn't help that I had that relationship complacency where you feel like you can eat whatever your fella eats and lay around and not gain an ounce...Well, you can't do that.  And twenty pounds later, you will suddenly realize it and be quite sad.  On the bright side, you may also realize that you have a fella who loves you even when you do put on weight.  That's a nice thing.

I feel completely different this time around trying to lose weight than back in the day when I was singing in a band and just looking all kinds of hot.  Back then, it was a shallow desperation.  I had gone through a bad breakup and needed to be more attractive.  I needed to be wanted.  I constantly obsessed about what I was eating.  I would practically have a panic attack whenever I missed a day at the gym.  I spent hours on treadmills like a crazy little hamster on a wheel.  I needed to be thin and I was never satisfied.  Even at my smallest, I felt like a cow.  Looking at those pictures now, I want to go back in time and punch that girl in the nose.  I would love to look like that again.

The difference today is that even though I know I need to be more fit and healthy, I still like myself.  Of course I have those days when I dramatically exclaim "What have I become?!" and sob a little, but for the most part, I feel good.  I like who I am and though I may not be a model, I feel just adorable sometimes.  Heading into this challenge, my motivation is not that self-loathing or fear that no one will love me if I don't lose weight.  It's the knowledge that I am strong and capable and excuses aren't good enough anymore.  It's the desire to look extra good for my fiance because he deserves my best.  It's the need to be healthier, more energized, and have better skin and hair! haha.

I believe that getting involved in this program is going to be a turning point in my life, bringing growth in discipline, confidence, and inspiration to help other people.  I'm just dying to get started!  Blast you, shipping delays!

The Pre-Game

I had been doing various workout challenges to get back into shape.  Then I got engaged, and I became more determined than ever.  I am not a dainty girl, to be plain.  I like to call myself "buxom."  Even at my thinnest, I'm no ballerina!  I don't believe in striving for someone else's body type, but I do believe in being strong and fit.  I want to be my best self, especially on my wedding day.

I've been working out for a month and I've only lost about three pounds.  The thing is, I haven't had any sort of eating plan and I haven't focused on nutrition at all.  Unfortunately, your diet accounts for about 70-80% of your success in weight loss.  I haven't been gorging on Mcdonald's or anything, but strictness is outside of my food vocabulary.

When I heard about Beach Body's 21 Day Fix, I was intrigued.  You're supposed to be able to lose up to 15 pounds.  I used to do P90x (ba-rutal) in my fitter days and knew at least the workouts were good.  The awesome thing about Beach Body's evolution in the last few years is that most of their workouts are just 30 minutes now (anybody remember doing an hour and a half of Yoga X and wanting to die the next day?). The 21 Day Fix gives you seven workouts to rotate during the 3 week period, each 30 minutes long.  I've already been working out pretty much every day, so I know that I can do it!  That feature isn't the best part, though.

The eating plan looks insanely easy.  They give you color-coded containers for portions.  You can pretty much eat anything (even chocolate and wine!) as long as you stick to the portion plan.  Now, that's my type of plan.  I don't have time or funds to go crazy and only eat homemade wheat grass cakes with salmon I caught with my own hands.  I don't have any land for a vegetable garden.  I can absolutely use portion containers to eat normal people food, though.

Probably the most exciting thing is getting Shakeology.  I sampled the chocolate one the other day and it was delicious!  Whole nutrition, keeps you full, gives you energy, and gives your body what it needs to keep up with the workouts without craving junk all of the time.  I've only tried one and I am already sold.  I'm not the type of person who can go without eating and not be starving.  I actually eat a little bit like a man.  But these shakes are awesome and keep you full!

The whole package comes in a couple of weeks and I am extremely excited to get going.  I know that it will give me the results I want, so I'm documenting all of it--even the horrifying before pictures/measurements.  They're coming soon.  Who wants to join our challenge group? Follow me here or on Facebook and I will show you what I can do!  And if I can do it...anyone can. :)