Misery Loves Company...And Other Cliches

Hello friends.  The past few days I have been amazed at which people have been offering me encouragement and telling me that I'm motivating them--people I almost never talk to, people I was convinced hated my guts, people I don't even know at all!  It's been awesome.  You know who hasn't been doing that at all?  Some of the people I call my friends, who used to constantly like or comment on my posts.  There's a defined absence of support there and honestly it was a big part of my feelings of being discouraged during the first few days.  I've been asking myself, what's the difference now?

I told someone yesterday that often I'm basically like a human Grumpy Cat.  I've got a tendency toward negativity, and like most people, when I don't check myself I could complain all day long.  You know what complaining does, though?  Absolutely nothing (except for maybe annoying the people around you).  You know what negativity does?  It brings you down and fills the atmosphere around you.  You're like a black cloud wandering around and raining on everyone's parade.  Now, like everyone I like being liked.  But I don't care what people think.  I do care how I make them feel.  If I bring someone down, that's a huge FAIL.  And that makes me kind of a selfish jerk wallowing in my own crap and doing NOTHING to change the world.

One of the biggest ways I have been a complainer in my life is with my health.  

"I feel so fat." 

"I'm so tired all the time." 

"Eating healthy is so hard." 

"I'm so broke, how can I afford to get on a program/get a gym membership/buy the right foods?"

"My friends/sisters look better than me.  Those beotches."

That whole time, though, what was I doing?  NOTHING except for obsessing about my unhappiness.  I didn't work out, I didn't prep food, I didn't even try.  You know what else?  During some of those years (actually not now), all I did was complain about being broke--but you know what I also was doing during that time?  I was eating out several days a week, going out drinking, going to concerts, going on trips, buying tons of alcohol, buying clothes I didn't need...the list goes on.  I wouldn't have been broke if I wasn't so absolutely stupid with my money.  I could've afforded to get things that would help with being fit.  No, you don't always have to spend money to get fit, but for people like me, you need a real plan with real results to stay motivated and you probably have no idea what you're doing at the gym.  The point is, I was complaining about problems I was creating and in turn was creating more problems in my interpersonal relationships.

I've been striving lately to STOP being such a Debbie Downer: at work, at home, on social media.  You know what it has done for me so far?  It's made me less stressed.  It's made me see clearly about taking action instead of just whining like a child.  It's given me better relationships with people and made me way more approachable.  It's given me the opportunity to inspire rather than drag people down or push them away with an irritating habit.

My conclusion about what has changed is the switch from negative to positive and from complainer to DOER.  I may be wrong, but this is the main change I can find.  Those "friends" don't think I'm funny or interesting or worth supporting unless I'm sitting on my butt being a victim and being borderline hateful with my grumpiness and sarcasm.  Misery does love company.  I've got another somewhat-cliche for you, except I'll turn it on its head.  People say that you find out who your real friends are when you're down.  I think you find out who real friends are when you're trying to get UP and change your life.  Some people want to keep you down, keep you unhappy, keep you chubby, keep you in a series of complete overindulgence (on food, alcohol, etc.).  I don't think they're evil.  I don't think they even know that's what's going on.  I never did realize I was doing that until recently!  It's because they're scared.  They don't want to be challenged, they don't want another person to compare themselves to and feel wanting...but guess what?  You don't have to and shouldn't feel that way!  We're all cut from the same cloth and we can all do whatever we decide to do.

Sorry if this entry was a little preachy.  I'm feeling fired up about this and I want to spread the happy.  I bit my tongue when I wanted to complain and I felt the anger, sadness, and stress just disappearing.  Your words and thoughts make a difference.